When you know you’re addicted to BJJ…

1. On your way home after Jiu Jitsu class you always stop to go shopping so you can show off your gi and belt.
2. All of your enemies "gotta big mouth!"
3. You begin pronouncing the word Jiu-Jitsu (jew-jit-su) as "zhuzhitsu."
4. You are constantly thinking up a new setup or move that no one has discovered just so you "can put your name on it."
5. When in bed with your significant other you are doing jiu-jitsu reversals to maneuver her into the position you want.
6. When talking with friends, bosses, or relatives you eye them up and down to see which would be easier to get on them: the armbar or the choke.
7. You are constantly staring at other people's ears while at bars and clubs to see who is a grappler.
8. ONLY when you are explaining a move to a friend do you develop a SLIGHT Brazilian accent.
9. Waiters, waitresses, and the cable guy are all now "my friend, my friend."
10. When you turn over in bed at night you are posting your foot and sliding your hips to turn instead of just rolling over.
11. You spend hours on end looking at BJJ sites trying to think of things you can say.
12. You try to get grandma to do a footlock on you.
13. When your family members begin to lose feeling in their joints.
14. Last night you dreamt that Royce Gracie put you in an armbar, and when you woke up your arm was caught between your desk and the edge of your bed.
15. When asked how BJJ deals with multiple attackers, you say "I don’t know, I've never found more than one person dumb enough to try."
16. You find it fun putting house pets (e.g. dogs and cats) into locks, chokes, and holds.
17. When you start wanting to test your BJJ skills against big guys at bars and clubs.
18. It becomes increasingly difficult to say "so your a black belt in Tae kwon do-- that very impressive," with a straight face.
19. You catch yourself attempting to pass your girlfriends guard.
20. You talk in broken English, even though you're a college graduate.
21. You practice chokes on anyone that turns his back to you.
22. When someone tries to give you a hug you immediately drop into base and execute a hip throw.
23. When your significant other comes over and you greet her with an open guard instead of a hug.
24. When you find yourself twisting and mangling your ears trying to get the cauliflower to look cool.
25. You start teaching your 10-month-old baby the mount, the side mount, and the guard.
26. When breaking joints becomes an everyday thing.
27. When nobody is around, you start doing submissions to your pillow.
28. Your Gi has more patches on it than a whole company of Girl Scout uniforms.
29. During the winter you wear your Gi top around the house instead of a sweater or turning on the heat.
30. You’re trying to get your friends to the BJJ gym just to show them what a great Lion-Killer you have.